Okay. So generally the tragic comedy of my life is limited to losing necessary objects, breaking pieces of technology and the fact that my cat has no learning curve ("KITTEN GET OUT OF THE SINK!" has been probably the most-used sentence in my household for a year, followed by a quick blast from a squirt gun) but today it has reached a high point.
We're going to call this yet another case of Sarah's ID Problems regarding the City of Montreal. This will be the third time I've had ID issues getting to-from-around that city, and hey - this time it isn't my fault!
It used to be that you could drive to Canada without a passport; a birth certificate and a driver's license was sufficient. The first time, I left my wallet on a bus going to the fine city. Upon realizing this, 20 minutes after leaving the bus, I turned and quite literally SPRINTED back to the bus station, reached the bus moments before it was about to re-depart for Boston, and recovered my wallet, which had my license and all forms of photo ID. The second time, I left my wallet at a hotel where I'd partied late into the night but hadn't stayed over; that involved more shenanigans of not remembering the room I'd stayed in, and only finding my way back there because I could hear the outrageous accents of our fellow partiers through the door of the room we were all in. Yep, those two were definitely my fault.
As of today, June 1, 2009, you officially need a passport or at the very least, a passport card to drive over the border. Long gone are the days when my mother used to boat across the St. Lawrence River to get an ice cream cone in the little town of Prescott, Ont. from her home in Ogdensburg, NY; nope, no more of that. How did I learn of this? An article in my own newspaper, the Boston Herald, as of...two days ago. Awesome.
In light of my hopeful impending journey to the NHL draft, this was of particular importance; so today, off I went to the post office in the hopes of getting an expedited passport card, allowing me to drive to Canada or Mexico, or travel to either by boat. (Because everyone wants to boat to Canada, don't I know it!). 45 minutes later, I want to cry. Or kill things. I leave the place with no passport, two hideous photos of myself, and three thoughts:
1) Someone at the Boston Department of Vital Records is going to deal with a very displeased me on Wednesday;
2) I'm pretty sure this is entirely the fault of the City of Montreal;
3) God I must really love hockey to put myself through this.
So here's what happened. When I went to MTL in August, I kept my birth certificate in a seperate wallet than my other credit cards and whatnot, so as not to lose it. A week after I got home, I put that wallet away in my desk. Two days later, my house was broken into and that wallet stolen. I went to the DVR (ahaha, great abbrev., Sarah..) to get a new copy. Whoever the doofus was that copied my certificate managed to do so AND NOT PHOTOCOPY MY YEAR OF BIRTH ONTO THE DARN THING. How I got into Canada to go to Montreal for the jailbird jerseys game on February 1 with that poorly copied piece of crap, I have no idea.
So the long and the short of it is - the scouting combine made me pine for the draft so hard, I will probably end up selling a kidney to get an expedited passport. Evander Kane looks great. Some kid from Philips Academy beat Brayden Schenn at medicine ball throwing (I doubt this means anything in the long run, but hey - local kid beating a dude I hate! I am ALL ABOUT THIS). Awesome. Kids - take note of this - passport cards don't get expedited, so if you want one, plan ahead, and don't be a big failure like your Aunty Sarah. The end.
Oh, and....go Wings!
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